#4 - Thanskgiving Tipsy Turkey Cranberry Sausage

This post is severely late for Thanksgiving, but just in time for Christmas, so make sausages of it as you will.

The sausage.  Chilling outside with some white wine. 

As one might expect from a Thanksgiving-themed sausage, this Turkey happily ground and stuffed itself, satisfyingly fed 19 hungry pilgrim-esque mouths (think funny hats and brass-buckle shoes), and topped off the evening with an uncanny impression of the native Americans who generously helped out the early pilgrims by virtually disappearing from view.

  • 6 lbs. Turkey Thighs
Fruits & Nuts
  • 1/2 lb. Dried Cranberries 
  • 1 oz. Toasted Almonds

Spices & Seasonings
  • 2 Tbsp. Coarse Salt
  • 3 tsp. Marjoram
  • 3 tsp. Sage
    • 1 tsp Ground
    • 2 tsp Rubbed Leaf
  • 1.5 tsp. Black Pepper

Libations (Booze)
  • 6 Tbsp. Triple-Sec

As the Thanksgiving morning dawned, the sausages read ominous omens in the sunrise and prepared for battle.

The sausages assemble themselves on the grill in rank and file order.

A more fearsome regiment of Turkey warriors had not been seen on this Earth since the great Sausagecapedes of Antiquity

Reports of overcrowding and rampant cranberry theft proved to be unreliable.

The regiment fought valiantly against the unyielding heat of the grill.

After a few turns the regiment sports a variety of battle-wounds.

Eventually even their chief, looking down from above, realized that this battle could not be won.

Chief Dances-with-Intestines looks on as, one-by-one, his warriors fall.
So ends the recreation of the little-known Thanksgiving conflict: The Battle for Stomach Hill.

-Editor's Note:  Rest assured that whatever bozo comes up with this nonsense has never been paid.  He just keeps showing up.  We hope to attract new talent in the New Year.

Yes, it was as good as it looks.

This post is groundbreaking for two reasons:

First, that it is the first post to contain the recipe AND the results in one outrageous bang for your nonexistent buck.

And Second, that it announces a temporary hiatus from sausage-making.  That's right readers, due to a special writ of King George III banning sausage-making in the new world from proceeding during the month of December - so as to avoid the Americans making insinuating jokes about the Royal Sausage and where it could be stuffed - there will be no sausage made between Thanksgiving and New Years.

-Editor's Note:  Seriously, please help us get rid of this doofus.

Happy Holidays.  May your bellies be filled with sausage.  I have to go see a man about a stuffed goose.


No comments:

Post a Comment