#2 - Drunken Turkey-Fig-Goat Cheese Sausage with Chives

That's pretty much sums up S.P.'s second experimental sausage installment, featuring a scandalously unique drunken turkey-fig sausage.  After a brief argument with some some goat cheese over port wine, this particular Turkey was seen frolicking with some figs before hiding behind a bush of chives.  The police round-up is seen below, minus the alleged offender.  (The Turkey has some excellent lawyers, and S.P. has a small budget...)

Ms. Fig, Mr. G. Cheese, and the Brothers Chive, moments before the whole affair took place

After the initial incident, the other characters commiserated at a bar together.  As it happened, Ms. Fig ended up in bed with Mr. Port Wine (his game always picks up at the end of the night).  Some grainy surveillance footage is pictured below.


Upon hearing of her daughter's illicit affair with Mr. P. Wine, Mrs. Fig was heard to exclaim, "I can't believe my baby girl would do this! And after all that money spent on flowering... going and getting he'self mixed up with Port!  They was fig flesh and seeds eeeverywhere... Just look at da bubbles!"
As it happened, Mr. P. Wine's mother didn't care much for the fact that her son was carousing with figs, either.  A local reporter snapped the following picture, moments after climax.

Mr. P. Wine's mother arrived too late to stop the sticky outcome.  As she cast her gaze over the sordid scene she couldn't stop wondering how she would ever explain this at the next Wine Club meeting.
Jokes aside, while I thought that fresh figs would certainly work with turkey for this sausage, it was the drier, crunchier sweetness of dried figs that really tickled my palate.  So, there was only one thing for it: reduce the figs, with some tawny port, into one sweet, gooey, portentous blob.

  • 4 lbs.-8 oz. Turkey Thighs
Fruits & Vegetables
  • 1lb.-2oz. Fresh Black Figs (24)
    • (Reduced with 5 Tbsp. Tawny Port)
  • 8 oz. Goat Cheese
  • 1 oz. Fresh Chives
Spices & Seasonings
  • 1.3 Tbsp. Coarse Salt
  • 1.5 tsp. Cayenne
  • 1/2 tsp. Rubbed Savory
Before I could get to the figs, however, I ground the turkey thighs once through the fine disk.  Then it was time to get the whole affair started and mix everything together for another trip past that fine disk.

After One Grind:
All I can say is, note the fig and hunk of goat cheese

Between the Grinds
The resulting sausage turned purple from the touch of the black figs.  Ground up bits of goat cheese spread throughout the sausage, particularly under the pressures of stuffing, seeding fat and flavor into the meat.  There were also, of course, the fig seeds, but more on them in the next S.P. Exclusive. 

Twice Ground:
fine texture :: blended colors

In deference to a particular group of my friends, I should note that the alternate name for this sausage is "Bougie Turkey Sausage."  And I shall explain:

On a recent sunny outing to the park, three of us staged an expedition from that chilled delicatessen of delectables: Trader Joe's.  After a fevered hunt for the finest in picnic goodies, we met back behind the freeze-dried fruit.  My friend, let's call him Ebeneezer, examined the contents of my basket:
Goat Cheese
Smoked Salmon Pate

Ebeneezer reached for the figs with quizzical distaste.  Turning them over in his hand, he said, "I don't eat any of this stuff," and tossed them back.

I, in turn, examined the contents of his basket:
1 pre-made Sietan-"Cheese"-"steak" wrap
Frozen Dumplings

I looked at him and said, "Neezie, you sure you're going to a picnic?"

Anyway, the point is that later on, in the park, after swallowing the third dried fig dipped in goat cheese and licking his lips, Ebeneezer grunted contentedly, "mmm.  Bougie!"

And perhaps it is.  I certainly got the idea for a fig-goat-cheese sausage combo after eating figs with goat cheese, and I suppose it is a bourgeois thing to do.  But screw that, the bourgeoisie can't own that.  You know what else is bourgeois?  Sex.  I don't see any of the Ebeneezers out there espousing vows of chastity.

Bougie, indeed
Stay tuned for the results!



  1. They look gorgeous...can't wait to see how they cook!